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independence2 unconnected · 2 more authors in those circles
standing

contested · 6 claims against 2

applies to

b2b and consumer, no audience needed

outcome not stated

confidence

high

evidence

8 claims · 6 articles · 4 receipts

window

2009-05-18 → 2023-08-13

2 builders who never spoke to each other · contested

Strip the adjectives out of the description

Words like powerful, simple, fast and beautiful can mean too many things at once, so they end up meaning nothing and reading identically to every competitor. Stringing several together makes it worse, because nobody believes a product is all of them and the doubt spreads to the claims that were true. Replace them with the mechanism and its measured effect, and test a line by searching the exact phrase to see whether the results come back scattered.

Where this splits

Harry Dry argues in one place for deleting adjectives and adverbs outright, and in another that descriptive words are perfectly fine as long as the idea rather than the adjective is where the copy starts.

  1. side 01 · 6 claims

    Cut the adjectives and name the mechanism instead

    Arvid Kahl · Greg Kogan · Harry Dry · Jason Cohen

    1. 1Delete adverbs and adjectives; they are vague, ornamental and strain for effect.
    2. 2Cut the generic adjectives out of your product description - they can mean too many different things, so they end up meaning nothing and reading identically to your competitors.
    3. 3Two quick tests for a weak description: scan it for vague adjectives, and search the exact phrase to see whether the results come back scattered and irrelevant.
    4. 4Never string together a list of flattering adjectives in product copy: nobody believes a product is simultaneously fast, simple, robust, scalable and cheap, and the doubt spreads to the claims that were true.
    5. 5Cut vague language out of anything strategic: naming the specific thing you do is also what makes the marketing work.

  2. side 02 · 2 claims

    Descriptive words are fine once the idea leads

    Harry Dry

    1. 1Descriptive words are not banned in copy; they just cannot be where the thinking begins.
    2. 2Build the ad on an idea, not on a descriptive word: the concept has to be the starting point.

What it returned

  • The words he flags: quick, fast, effortless, easy, best, top, powerful, simple, flexible, beautiful, modern. He bases this on interviewing hundreds of enterprise software buyers about what messaging does and does not land.

  • He cites a real description promising easier SaaS leadership and managing growth, people and investors more effectively, where 'easier' and 'more effectively' have no reference point.

  • He quotes a real enterprise server description that claims in one sentence to be simple to use, quick, scalable, painless to download and get running, robust, highly available and cheap.

  • His example of empty phrasing is a promise to leverage synergies into unique solutions, which names no synergy, no uniqueness and no solution.

Sources

the second source

Three plays a week, for the phase you are in

No roundup of links, no news. Three tactics more than one builder arrived at separately, with the numbers each one returned and the disagreements left in.

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More in copy

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the second source

Three plays a week, for the phase you are in

No roundup of links, no news. Three tactics more than one builder arrived at separately, with the numbers each one returned and the disagreements left in.

963 corroborated plays to draw from · 3 a week

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