a single source, nothing corroborates it

Open on the reader, not on your team

Count the sentences before a visitor is mentioned; on most pages the answer is embarrassing. The fix is to lead with who this is for and what is going wrong for them, then show the improved situation, structured the way an invitation works: what it is, whether you can come, and how to say yes. A supporter's own words about what they stand to lose beat anything the team would have written.

The method

1. 01

   Make the page answer two questions above the fold - who this is for and what they are struggling with - then paint the improved situation, not just the pain.

2. 02

   Rewrite any landing page that opens with what your team wants and needs; count how many sentences pass before the visitor is mentioned.

3. 03

   Open the page with a real fan's own words naming what they would lose, and build the whole page on that stake.

4. 04

   Structure a landing page or post like a party invitation, answering who it is for, what they want, why they want it, and the exact way to get it.

5. 05

   Write the headline as the finished result plus the tool the buyer no longer has to touch.

What it returned

• Justin dismissed the first four search results because none of them showed an understanding of his problem and his context.

• Serial's fundraising splash page used we-started, we-need and we-want phrasing and did not mention a listener until its fifth sentence.

• Justin's rewrite opened with a listener's tweet asking what would happen if there were no further episodes.

• Justin's analogy is a gig flyer that has to tell the reader whether they want to come, whether they can come, and how to RSVP.

Sources

• Is this a good idea?Justin Jackson · justinjackson.ca · An example: Screely · undated
• Your blog could be a partyJustin Jackson · justinjackson.ca · The invitation · undated
• Landing page teardown: Serial podcastJustin Jackson · justinjackson.ca · Landing page teardown: Serial podcast · undated
• Why I bought your softwareJustin Jackson · justinjackson.ca · Scene 3: "I think I've found the solution!" · undated